આને અંગ્રેજીમાં જ વાંચવાનું ઠીક પડશે ….
IF YOU R A GUJJU – YOU MUST HAVE…
1. You have an uncle who tells you his contact number is chaar so be ogan syt ekaavan – 4025951
2. Every autowala, taxiwala, grocerywala is our kaka.
3. We never go to office, we go to HOFFIS!
4. The first rule of money – never use your own!
5. “Su navi juni” is our version of wassup?
6. Be it seven in the morning or 1 am, gaathiyas are always welcome.
7. We are all a fan of Dakshaben aka Ketaki Dave’s “Ararararara….”
8. We keep an “ELARAM” to wake up in the morning.
9. No party is over without a round of GARBA.
10. We all love golas, but ice creams have a special place in our hearts (and in our fridges as well).
11. We call all types of noodles “Meggi”!!!
12. When someone asks about a person, we say GENTLEMAN MANAS 6! ( Chay )
13. “Shaanti rakhi ne loi peeyo!” is our best possible slang.
14. We don’t know any place in the world called Delhi, apne to bas DILLI aj javanu! 15. We have a PhD in bargaining by birth…
16. We can speak any language of the world in Gujarati!
17. We don’t have feelings, we have FILLINGS!
18. Jai Shri Krishan = Hello and Aavjo = Good bye!
19. Generally our conversations begin with kem 6, maja ma ne, and end with, koi saaru investment batavo ne…
20. We shout our guts out on international calls, thinking they can hear us better that way.
21. A gujju would have business on his mind from the time he turns 18 – bahu badha paisa kamavana 6..( chay ).
22. Swimming is not for us – we call it chhabchhabiya.
23. For us electricity never goes – only light does!
24. We don’t call people, we COAL them.
25. Next time someone irritates you, you say TEL PEEVA JA.
26. Sensex interests us more than anything else.
27. Chhas is our beer!
28. We are everywhere, all over the globe – deal with it…
29. We go to movie HOLE and take outside SNAKES for refreshments.
30. Ideal gujju mom’s phone book’s last page has – agarwal modiwado, ajanta hotel (sunday saat vagya laginej order le 6e), gupta chikki, jyotsanaben nu tiffin, gas book maate, kaaki ni kaamvaari, patel gadlawado, madhuben – mahila mandal, maro mobile number…
31. Towel = tooval
32. Every gujju will introduce their spouse as aa mara mr 6, ne aa mari mrs 6…
33. Mount Abu is Switzerland.
34. Mihir Virani is our Charlie Sheen.
35. Exam aave 6, beta notes JEROX karavanu bhoolto nai…
36. If a gujju starts coffee with Karan, he would name it as “Chhas with Chhagan”.
37. Boomer is not chewing gum, it is chiggum.
38. A true gujju looks forward to eat thai, mexican, italian, chinese and undhiyu at the cousin’s wedding…
39. If u r a true gujju then your phone will have at least ten contacts ending in the word BHAI.
40. If u don’t like jalebi-fafda, u r not a true Gujju.
41. Being Punjabi means more chapati, less rice; being Mallu means less chapati, more rice. Being Gujju – just eat more yaar, shu farak pade 6.
42. Gujjus believe Narendra Modi is the solution for everything – from hair style to nation’s progress.
43. Vile Parle and New Jersey feels like home – Apduj 6…
44. We will spend 1000 rupees for a 10 rupees free gifts, free ma male, etle maja aavi jai
45. We eat home made theplas with chhundo and athanu in business class flight.
46. We can do Garba on any song in the world.
47. Falguni Pathak is Britney Spears for us.
48. After having chaat, bhelpuri, sevpuri, we make sure we ask for extra puri, and then discount.
49. Order soup 1/2, u get more quantity – be smart.
50. If its beg, edible and free, go on dude, eat it…
51. Bombay+Gujarat+London+ America = whole world. Nothing else exists for us
52. Everyone is invited to a Gujju home for lunch, and fed like u have come from the groom’s side.
53. If all of a sudden u hear a dhoom machale ringtone or a loud scream or a loud chit chat amongst a group, immediately assume that you are amidst Gujjus.
54. Hindi humko jara bi nahi faata hai.
55. 15 or 50, your parents will always refer to u as their baby or babo.
56. Gujjus don’t know what chocolate is, they only know CATBURY.
57. If u dnt watch tarak mehta ka oolta chashmah u r nt a gujju yaar.
58. Ultimate Gujju gift – a ‘cover’ (envelope) with 500+1 in it.
59. We take constitution very seriously, everybody is called bhai and ben.
61. If u do not go for Navratri, u don’t exist.
62. Mango is not our national fruit only kesar n haphus is.
63. Don’t be disheartened if u don’t make it to a top B-school, if u are a Gujju, then business is in your blood.
64. We all own Reliance… (No further comments or xplanations needed!)
65. U find something good n say “BAHU FINE 6!”
66. ‘Pope’ Music mast hoy 6.
67. We can talk about share markets, anywhere, anytime, no problem.
68. U expect a discount at the Dollar Store if u r a Gujju.
69. U consider spongebob as dhokla, if u r a Gujju.
70. Dandiya is our Prom.
71. Packing according to a 5 night 6 day holiday when going for a one day picnic.
72. Time spent at a party – Dancing (10 minutes), Chitchat (10 minutes), Dinner (100 minutes).
73. ‘Sanedo’ is our Dance Anthem, if you are not on the dance floor when it plays, you are not a Gujju.
From a friend’s e-mail