Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected and is frequently humorous.
1. Where there’s a will,
I want to be in it.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you …
But it’s still on my list.
3. Since light travels faster than sound,
Some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you,
We’d both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up —
We only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right,
Only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.
To steal from many is research.
9. I didn’t say it was your fault,
I said I was blaming you.
10. In filling out an application, where it says,
“In case of emergency, notify…
” I answered “a doctor.”
11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street
With a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
12. You do not need a parachute to skydive.
You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
13. I used to be indecisive,
But now I’m not so sure.
14. To be sure of hitting the target,
Shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
1 5 . You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
1 6 . I’m supposed to respect my elders,
But it’s getting harder and harder for me to find one now.
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Share the Cheer,
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