Magic…..

  Some time fun to see…

Thanks to You Tube !

YouTube – 3ality Digital MaxQ ( yt3d:enable=true)

Crisis for no Check!!!

A  husband working abroad wrote to his wife…       Dear Sweetheart,      I can’t send my salary this month , the global market  crises has affected me, so I am sending 100 kisses .   You are my sweetheart.       Your loving husband,      ————————————————————————————————————————–      His wife replied…      Sweetheart Dearest,       Thanks for the 100 kisses, below is the list of expenses I paid with the Kisses …        1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month’s  milk.       2. The electricity man agreed not to disconnect us only after 7 kisses .        3. Your landlord comes every day to take  2 or 3 kisses  instead of the  rent       4. Supermarket owner did not accept kisses only, so I gave him other items hope you understand???????????       5. Other expenses 40 kisses.        Please don’t worry about me, I have a remaining balance of 35 kisses and I hope I can complete the month using this balance…      Shall I plan the same for next month??????????????????   Please Advice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!       Your Sweet Heart,

  
  

 

 

 

Thanks for this E Mail from Hansa Shah

Here is to Think!

Here is something to think over……………. If time doesn’t wait for you, don’t worry! Just remove the damn battery from the clock and Enjoy life! ————– Expecting the world to treat u fairly coz u r a good person is like expecting the lion not to attack u coz u r a vegetarian. Think about it. —————— Beauty isn’t measured by outer appearance and what clothes we wear, but what we are inside. So, try going out without clothes tomorrow and see the admiration! ——————– Don’t walk as if you rule the world, walk as if you don’t care who rules the world! That’s called Attitude…! Keep on rocking! ——————— Every lady hopes that her daughter will marry a better man than she did and is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did!!! ——————— He was a good man. He never smoked, drank & had no affair. When he died, the insurance company refused the claim. They said, he who never lived, cannot die! —————– A man threw his wife in a pond of Crocodiles? He’s now being harassed by the Animal Rights Activists for being cruel to the Crocodiles! —————— So many options for suicide: Poison, sleeping pills, hanging, jumping from a building, lying on train tracks, but we chose Marriage, slow & sure! ———————- Only 20 percent girls have brains, rest have boyfriends! ———————– All desirable things in life are either illegal, banned, =2 0, expensive or married to someone else! ————————- Laziness is our biggest enemy- Jawaharlal Nehru We should learn to love our enemies- Mahatma Gandhi Ab aap bataaye kiski sune bapu di ya chacha di??? ———————- When things go wrong, when sadness fills your heart, When tears flows from your eyes always say these words… Eh Ganpat, chal daru la… ———————- 10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving. Which makes it a logical statement that 90% of accidents are due to driving without drinking! Piyo Sar Utha Ke! Kem lage????

Thanks for the E Mail Of Ahok Shah

પોલીસને તરત શી રીતે બોલાવશો?

મુળ અંગ્રેજી પરથી ભાવાનુવાદ

જહોન સુવાની તૈયારી કરતો હતો, ત્યાં તેની પત્નીએ કહ્યું કે, ‘બેક યાર્ડની લાઈટ ચાલુ છે.

જહોને તપાસ કરવા નજર કરી તો બેક યાર્ડમાં કોઈક માણસો ઘુસી ગયા હોય તેમ લાગ્યું.

જહોને પોલીસને ફોન કર્યો, પોલીસ થાણાએ કહ્યું ,” કોઈ તમારા ઘરમાં ઘુસી આવ્યું છે?”

જહોન ,” ના, પણ એ લોકો ગમે ત્યારે ઘુસી આવી શકે તેમ છે.”

થાણેદાર , “ અત્યારે કોઈ પોલીસ હાજર નથી. કોઈ આવશે પછી મોકલીશ.”

થોડી વાર રહી, જહોને ફરી થાણામાં ફોન કર્યો,” મેં થોડી વાર પહેલાં તમને ફોન કર્યો હતો , પણ હવે તમારે આવવાની જરુર નથી. મેં એ બધાને ગોળીથી ઠાર મારી નાંખ્યા છે.”

પાંચ જ મીનીટમાં  પોલીસની પાંચ ગાડીઓ, બે એમ્બ્યુલન્સો, લાયબંબો અને ડીટેક્ટીવોની ટીમ ત્યાં આવી ગઈ. તરત બધા ચોરને પકડી લીધા.

ફોજદાર કહે,” પણ તમે તો કહેતા હતા કે, તમે બધાને ઠાર મારી દીધા છે.”

જહોન, “ તમેય કહેતા હતા જ ને કે, કોઈ પોલીસ હાજર નથી.”

———————————–

સાભાર –  ઈમેલ - કે કે એમ( ફન ફોર અમદાવાદી ગ્રુપ)

Two line rhyme!

WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION  ASKED FOR A  TWO-LINE  RHYME  WITH THE MOST
ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, BUT THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE.

This is the winner:-

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife,
Marrying you ruined my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That’s why I always wake up screaming.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

I thought that I could love no other –
that is until I met your brother.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl’s empty and so is your head.

I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don’t take that paper bag off your face.

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes –
Damn, I’m good at telling lies!

My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe “’Go to hell.”’

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts tequila, one part lime ………….

 

 

Thanks Jay R..for the e mail.

આજની જોક

આજની જોક વાંચવી છે? અરે! અમે જરા ઉંઘરાટા થયા છીએ. લો આ હોટલમાં આજનો નાસ્તો કરી લો!!!!

સ્માઈલ ડોટ કોમ

Harm Caused by Arguing and Criticizing

 

 

: Shree Hari: 
Ram Ram

15th July, 2009, Wednesday, Shravan Krishna Ashthami, Vikram Samvat 2066, Budhvaar

Harm Caused by Arguing and Criticizing

Criticizing anyone’s viewpoint increases the conflict among each other. If we criticize anyone’s view, then he will also criticize our view, which will lead to more conflict. So if it is possible then peacefully share your view point  with others, and if they do not want to listen then become silent. You may consider this your defeat, so let it be the case, but don’t engage in any dispute.

This is an incident at the  `Teacher Training College’ in Sardarshehar.   One gentleman said that -  Whatever losses and destruction that has taken place in our nation, it is only due to disputes related to God and Religious Beliefs. I remained silent.  So the gentleman said – `Say something!’ Thereafter I replied “You have spoken the conclusions that you have arrived at. You don’t agree to my  views and I too do not agree to yours. Now there is no scope for speaking and also there is no need for it.” In this way, if someone attacks us, then endure it. By enduring and remaining composed and free of any agitations, our viewpoint, principle become strong, but not by dispute. The power that lies  in remaining composed is not there in any other solutions. If you cannot bear your favorite deity’s (Ishth’s) defamation or criticism, then get up and walk away from there; close your ears, don’t hear it; because to such people even favorable advice also seems contrary.

Vibhishan gave good advice to Ravan but Ravan kicked Vibhishan! Therefore remaining silent is a very good thing. If we cannot endure something then it is our weakness.  This is Thakurji” (God’s) Divine play (lila) to make you strong! If you cannot bear it, then pray to God that `O Lord! I cannot bear it. Please have mercy on me! Grace me with the strength to bear it.’ 

If someone criticizes our view, our favorite deity (Isht), then we are offended and hurt and we begin to defend our view. But in reality by defending and propagating about our Ishth,  it’s fame will not spread. Rather simply remain silent. As Kaakbhusundji in his previous life went to Saint Lomash and asked him how to meditate on Lord Ram, then the Saint considering him as proper candidate (of path of knowledge) gave him a discourse on that knowledge. Lomashji time and again repeated the Knowledge, but Kaakbhusundji didn’t accept it and told his own view point. Due to this Lomashji became angry and cursed Kaakbhusundi saying that `You are afraid of my words like a crow; go and become a crow!’ Kaakbhusundji became a crow. Even after becoming a crow he neither felt fearful nor he felt inferior – `Nahi Kachu Bhay Na Deenta Aayi’ (Manas 7/112/8). Lomashji when he saw such forebearance and tolerance,  then he lovingly called him near, and enunciated him in Ram-mantra and meditation. In this subject Kakbhusundji said -
 

Bhagati Pachcha Hatha Kari Raheu Deenhi Maharashi Saap

Muni Durlabh Bar Payahu Dekhahu Bhajan Pratap (Manas 7/114B) 

“I stubbornly upheld the cause of devotion, for which the great sage Lomash cursed me; but eventually I obtained a boon which is difficult even for the sages to obtain! Witness the efficacy of worship.” 

What was the worship? Forebearance-endurance, remaining calm and quiet, by this efficacy of worship the sage gave him a boon that in which ever hermitage you will reside, ignorance (Maya) will have no access within a radius of eight miles. Therefore in remaining calm and quiet there is lot of strength.

From “Saadhan, Sudhaa, Sindhu”  in Hindi, pg 727 by Swami Ramsukhdasji.

Ram Ram

For ENGLISH WEBSITE please visit: http://www.swamiramsukhdasji.net
For full online discourses in Hindi: http://www.swamiramsukhdasji.org

જોકરોમાં ઉમેરો !

અમને જણાવતાં અત્યંત આનંદ થાય છે કે,

હાસ્ય દરબાર પર હાસ્યના પીરસણીયાઓમાં

એકનો વધારો થયો છે!!!!!

હાસ્યનું હુલ્લડ મચાવતી,  અમારી ટોળીમાં ભાવનગરના શ્રી. ભરત પંડ્યાઆજથી જોડાયા છે.. ભરત ભાઈ રાજેન્દ્ર અને સુરેશના મોટા ભાઈની ઉમ્મરના છે. પણ યુવાનોને પણ શરમાવે તેવી તાકાત, ઉત્સાહ અને જીંદાદીલી ધરાવે છે.

- 12 જુલાઈ – 2009

BEST LAWYER STORY OF THE YEAR

Charlotte, North Carolina.
A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars then insured them against, among other things, fire.Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company.
In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost ‘in a series of small fires.’
The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason, that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The lawyer sued…. and WON!

(Stay with me now……… .. ……… ……… )

Delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous!!
The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company, in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be ‘unacceptable fire’, and was thus obligated to pay the claim.
So, rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling, and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the cigars lost in the ‘fires’.

(NOW FOR THE BEST PART…….. ……. )

After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!!
With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of ‘intentionally burning his insured property’ and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.
———————–

This is a true story and was the First Place winner in the Criminal Lawyers Award Contest.

Courtsey – Shri Y.K. Shah, Mumbai

You may like to enjoy!

ધુળ જેવી છે જીંદગી આપણી ….. આંસુડા રેડી એમાં કિચ્ચડ ના કર .!!! 
 
કાયદાનું શિક્ષણ મેં એટલી સારી રીતે હાંસલ કયું કે કાયદાનો અભ્યાસ પુરો થયા પછી મેં મારી કોલેજ પર દાવો માંડ્યો અને મારી સઘળી ટ્યુશન ફી પાછી મેળવી …. 

સંતાનને સારા સંસ્કાર આપવા ગમે તેટલા પ્રયાસ કરો ….. આખરે તો એ મા – બાપને જ અનુસરશે !!!

બરફ જેવી છે આ જીંદગી … જેનો ભુતકાળ પણ પાણી અને ભવિષ્યકાળ પણ પાણી ….

પ્રશ્નો તો રહેવાના જ . સુખી લોકોને પ્રશ્ન થાય કે શું કરીએ તો ભૂખ લાગે .. અને દુઃખી લોકોનો પ્રશ્ન છે કે ભૂખ તો લાગે છે , પણ શું કરીએ ?!!!

ઇશ્વરનું બેલેન્સ કેવું અદભુત છે … પાંચ મણ ઘઉંની બોરી ઉપાડી શકે તે મજુર એકી સાથે ખરીદી ના શકે ; અને જે ખરીદી શકે છે તે શેઠ તેને ઊપાડી ના શકે .

કેટલાક લોકોનું દિલ દરિયા જેવું વિશાળ હોય છે .. જેમાં એક ચકલું ય પોતાની તરસ ના છિપાવી શકે !!! 

અને છેલ્લે ….
શ્વાસ ખુટી જાય અને ઈચ્છાઓ બાકી રહી જાય ……. તે મોત ..
ઈચ્છાઓ ખુટી જાય અને શ્વાસ બાકી રહે ……….. તે મોક્ષ !!

Thanks to HS ‘ E Mail !!!