આજની જોક

શીક્ષક ,” દીલ્હીમાં કુઉબ મીનાર છે.”

કનુ અડધો ઉંઘતો હતો.

શીક્ષક ,” કનુ ,  બોલ મેં શું કહ્યું?”

કનુ ,” દીલ્હીમાં કુતરા બીમાર છે.”

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સાભાર : મનુભાઈ પંડીત

આજની જોક

પરીક્ષામાં એક સવાલ : ચેલેન્જ કોને કહે છે?

કનુએ આખું પેપર કોરું મુક્યું અને છેલ્લે પાને લખ્યું

ચેલેન્જ સ્વીકારતા હો તો મને પાસ કરો.

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સાભાર : મનુભાઈ પંડીત

True !!!

Apparently true stories from British Hospitals !

1. A man dashes into the A&E dept. and yells . . . ‘My wife’s going to have her baby in the taxi’.
I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the taxi, lifted the lady’s dress and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly after protests from the lady I noticed that there were several taxis – - – and I was in the wrong one.

Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald , St. Andrews Hosp. Glasgow

2. At the beginning of my shift, I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient’s anterior chest wall.
‘Big breaths,’. I instructed.

‘Yes, they used to be,’. . . replied the patient.

Submitted by Dr. Richard Barnes , St.Thomas’s Bath

3 One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her on her mobile phone reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a ‘massive internal fart.’

Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg Royal London Hosp.

4. During a patient’s two week follow-up appointment, he told me that he was having trouble with one of his medications..
‘Which one ?’. . .. I asked.

‘The patch; the Nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I’m running out of places to put it!’

I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn’t see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body!
Now, the instructions includes removal of the old patch before applying a new one.

Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk General

5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked ‘How long have you been bedridden?’
After a look of complete confusion she answered .’Why, not for about twenty years – when my husband was still alive.’

Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson- Maidenhead Royal Kent

6. I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning and while checking up on a man I asked . . ..’ So how was your breakfast this morning?’

‘It’s very good except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can’t seem to get used to the taste.’. . Bob replied.

I then asked to see the jelly and Bob produced a foil packet labelled ‘KY Jelly.’

Submitted by Dr. Leonard J. Brandon . Bristol Infirmary.

7. A nurse was on duty in the A&E when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered . . . It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for an immediate operation..
When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read . . .’Keep off the grass’

Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient’s dressing, which read ‘Sorry . . . had to mow the lawn.’

Submitted by Staff Nurse RN Elaine Fogerty , KGH London

Dr. wouldn’t submit his name

આજની જોક

જજ , ‘ ઓર્ડર, ઓર્ડર, ઓર્ડર

કનુ ,” પીઝા, ચીકન અને કોલ્ડ ડ્રીન્ક”

જજ ,” શટ અપ.”

કનુ ,”શટ અપ ડ્રીન્ક નહીં, સેવન અપ ! “

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સાભાર : મનુભાઈ પંડીત

આજની જોક

કનુના ઘેર સસરીવાળા આવ્યા.

કનુની વહુએ કહ્યું, “ જાઓ , બહાર જઈને કશુંક લઈ આવો. “

કનુ બહાર જઈને ટેક્સી લઈ આવ્યો.

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સાભાર : મનુભાઈ પંડીત

આજની જોક

કનુ : આવતા જનમમાં તું શું બનવાનું પસંદ કરીશ ?

મનુ : વંદો

કનુ: છી, છી, છે, કશું નહીં  ને વંદો?

મનુ : હા! મારી વહુ ખાલી વંદાથી જ ડરે છે.

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સાભાર : મનુભાઈ પંડીત

Oh! English

English Can Be Fun….. Read and Enjoy

Spotted in a toilet of a London office:

• TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.

In a London Laundromat:

• AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

Outside a London second-hand shop:

• WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING – BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Spotted in a safari park:

• ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

Seen during a London conference:

• FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN’T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR

Notice in a field:

• THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES

On a repair shop door:

• WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR, THE BELL DOESN’T WORK)

People in other countries sometimes go out of their way to communicate with their English-speaking tourists. Here is a list of signs seen around the world :

At a Budapest zoo:
PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.

Doctors office, Rome :

• SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

Hotel, Acapulco :

• THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE.

In a Nairobi restaurant:

• CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE SHOULD WAIT AND SEE THE MANAGER.

In a City restaurant:

• OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.

In a Calcutta Coffee House:

• PEOPLE DISCARDING CIGARETTE STUBS IN CUPS WILL BE SERVED COFFEE IN ASH TRAYS

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..Courtsey :  Shri Manubhai Pandit 

Source : Unknown

આજની જોક

વૃધ્ધો કીમતી છે

• વાળ રુપેરી
• દાંત સોનાના
• કીડનીમાં રત્ન જેવા પથ્થર
• પગ સીસા જેવા
• પેટમાં ગેસ

સાભાર – પ્રભુલાલ ભારડીયા

——————————————

Senior Citizens Are Valuable:

We are more valuable than any of the younger generations:

• We have silver in our hair.
• We have gold in our teeth.
• We have stones in our kidneys.
• We have lead in our feet and.
• We are loaded with natural gas

- Prabhulal Bharadia

સીંઘ અને સોનીયા

 

રાજીવ, સોનીયા અને સીંઘ - ઈંડીયા ગેટ, નવી દીલ્હી આગળ

Rajiv, Sonia and Singh at India gate, New Delhi !! 

 

Courtsey – Dhiren

C&P specialist – Suresh Jani !!!

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