હાસ્ય દરબાર

John O’keefe hoisted his beer and said, ‘Here’s to spending the rest  of me life, between the legs of me wife!’ That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!

 He went home and told his wife, Mary, ‘I won the prize for the Best toast of the night’.

 She said, ‘Aye, did ye now? And what was your toast?

 John said, ‘Here’s to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church  beside me wife.’

 ’Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!’ Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John’s drinking buddies on the street corner.

The man chuckled leeringly and said, ‘John won the prize last night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.’

 She said, ‘Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself.

You know, he’s only been there twice in the last four years…Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come’!

Gauteng Metro policeman pulled a car over and told the driver that Because he had been wearing his seat belt he had just won Rs 5000, in  an Arrive Alive safety competition. the driver could hardly believe his luck. ‘What are you going to do with your cash?’ asked the traffic cop.

 ’Well I guess I’m going to get a drivers license,’ he answered. ’Oh, don’t listen to him,’ yelled a woman in the passenger seat. ‘He tries to be smart when he’s drunk.’

 This woke up the guy in the back seat who took one look at the cop and  moaned, ‘I knew we wouldn’t get far in a stolen car.’

 At that moment there was a knock from the boot and a voice said, ‘Are  we over the border yet?’

 The cop fainted!!!