Only in Florida

Only in Florida

                                                                       
A little old lady was sitting on a park bench in The Villages, a Florida   adult community.   A man walked over and sits down on the other end of the bench.      
After a few moments, the woman asks, ‘Are you a stranger here?’           
He replies, ‘I lived here years ago.’                                     
‘So, where were you all these years?’                                     
‘In prison,’ he says.                                                     
‘Why did they put you in prison?’                                         
He looked at her, and very quietly said, ‘I killed my wife.’              
‘Oh!’ said the woman. ‘So you’re single…’                                
                                                                           
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Another two elderly people living in Clearwater Assisted Living, he was a widower and she a widow, had known each other for a number of years. One  evening there was a community supper in the big arena in the Clubhouse.   
The two were at the same table, across from one another. As the meal  went on, he took a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered the courage to ask her, ’Will you marry me?’  

                                 
After about six seconds of ‘careful consideration’, she answered ‘Yes.     Yes, I will!’   

                                                          
The meal ended and, with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to  their respective places.     Next morning, he was troubled. ‘Did she say ‘yes’ or did she say ‘no’?'   
He couldn’t remember. Try as he might, he just could not recall. Not  even a faint memory. With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her.  

First, he explained that he didn’t remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the lovely evening past. As he gained a little more courage, he  inquired, ‘When I asked if you would marry me, did you say ‘Yes’ or did you say ‘No’?

He was delighted to hear her say, ‘Why, I said, ‘Yes, yes I will’ and I  meant it with all my heart.’ Then she continued, ‘I am so glad that you called because I couldn’t remember who had asked me.’                
                                                                           
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A man was telling his neighbor in Sun City Center , ‘I just bought a new  hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art. 
It’s perfect.’                                                            
‘Really,’ answered the neighbor. ‘What kind is it?’                      
‘ Twelve thirty.’                                                          
                                                                           
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *          
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor at the local Medical  Clinic to get a physical .  
A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a  gorgeous young woman on his arm. 
A couple of days later the doctor spoke to Morris and said, ‘You’re  really doing great, aren’t you?’    
‘Just doing what you said, Doc: ‘Get a hot mamma and be cheerful,’  Morris replied.     
To which doctor said, ‘I didn’t say that, Morris. I said, ‘You’ve got a  heart murmur, be   careful!’                                                                                                                              
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A little old man shuffled slowly into the ‘Orange Dipper’, an ice cream  parlor in Pinellas Park,
and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a  stool.  

 After catching his breath he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked  kindly, ‘Crushed nuts?’   
‘No,’ he replied, ‘arthritis’…