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HOW A SON/DAUGHTER THINKS OF HIS/HER DAD AT DIFFERENT AGES:

June 29, 2007 · 2 Comments

HOW A SON/DAUGHTER THINKS OF HIS/HER DAD AT DIFFERENT AGES:

At 4 Years - My daddy is great.
At 6 Years - My daddy knows everybody.
At 10 Years - My daddy is good but is short tempered
At 12 Years - My daddy was very nice to me when I was young.
At 14 Years - My daddy is getting fastidious.
At 16 Years - My daddy is not in line with the current times.
At 18 Years - My daddy is becoming increasingly cranky.
At 20 Years - Oh! It is becoming difficult to tolerate daddy. Wonder how Mother puts up with him.
At 25 Years - Daddy is objecting to everything.
At 30 Years - It is becoming difficult to manage my son.Iwas so scared of my father when I was young.
At 40 Years - Daddy brought me up with so much discipline. Even I should do the same.
At 45 Years - I am baffled as to how my daddy brought us up.
At 50 Years - My daddy faced so many hardships to bring us up. I am unable to manage a single son.
At 55 Years - My daddy was so far sighted and planned so many things for us. He is one of his kind and unique.
At 60 Years - My daddy is great.

Thus, it took 56 years to complete the cycle and come back to the 1st
stage. Realize the true value of your parents before its too late.

Categories: English

Price of the Bracelet!

June 29, 2007 · 1 Comment

A lady walks into a high class jewellery shop. She browses around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it.

As she bends over to look more closely she inadvertently breaks wind.

Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn’t pop up right now.

As she turns around, her worst nightmare materialises in the form of a salesman standing right behind her.

Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady with, ‘Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?’

Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may just not have been there at the time of her little ‘accident’, she asks, ‘Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?’

He answers, ‘Madam, if you farted just looking at it, you’re going to shit yourself when I tell you the price.”

Categories: English

Wisdom of the day…

June 29, 2007 · No Comments

LIVE TODAY, ACT TODAY, BE YOUR SELF EVERYDAY.

NEVER CRY FOR ANY RELATION IN LIFE,BECAUSE FOR THE ONE WHOM YOU CRY,DOES NOT DESERVE YOUR TEARS AND THE ONE WHO DESERVES WILL NEVER LET YOU CRY.

TREAT EVERYONE WITH POLITENESS,EVEN THOSE WHO ARE RUDE TO YOU,

NOT BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT NICE BUT BECAUSE YOU ARE NICE.

NEVER SEARCH YOUR HAPPINESS IN OTHERS,WHICH WILL MAKE YOU FEEL ALONE, RATHER SEARCH IT IN YOURSELF YOU WILL FEEL HAPPY EVEN IF YOU ARE LEFT ALONE.

ALWAYS  HAVE A POSITIVE ATTITUDE IN LIFE.THERE IS SOMETHING POSITIVE IN EVERY PERSON EVEN A STOPPED WATCH IS RIGHT TWICE A DAY.

Categories: English

Funney Answers…

June 29, 2007 · No Comments

Q. Do female frogs croak? 
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough. 
Q. If you’re going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be? 
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it. 
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5, 000 years. 
A. George Gobel:  Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes. 
Q. You’ve been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman? 
A. Don Knotts: That’s what’s been keeping me awake. 
Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he’s married? 
A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning. 
Q.Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older? 
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency. 
Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say “I Love You”? 
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty. 
Q. What are “Do It,” “I Can Help,” and “I Can’t Get Enough”? 
A. George Gobel: I don’t know, but it’s coming from the next apartment. 
Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking? 
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I’ll give you a gesture you’ll  never forget. 

Q. Paul, why do Hell’s Angels wear leather? 
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily. 
Q. Charley, you’ve just decided to grow strawberries.  ;  Are you going to get any during the first year? 
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I’m too busy growing strawberries. 
Q. In bowling, what’s a perfect score? 
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy. 
Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps.   One is politics, what is the other? 
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures. 
Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet? 
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I’m always safe in the bedroom. 
Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls? 
A.
Marty Allen: Only after lights out. 
Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do? 
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark? 
Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to? 
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark. 
Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the  habit of kissing a lot of people? 
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army. 
Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it? 
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but i t certainly isn’t neglected. 
Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do? 
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth. 
Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant? 
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant? 
Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex? 
A. Charley Weaver: I’ll lend him the car, the rest is up to him. 

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and  has actually seen them on at least two occasions.What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet. 
Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed? 
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.

Categories: English

આજની જોક

June 29, 2007 · 1 Comment

એક હોટલમાં એક ઉદાસ માણસ આવ્યો અને એક ટેબલ પાસે જઈને બેસી ગયો.
જ્યારે વેઈટર ઓર્ડર લેવા તેની પાસે ગયો ત્યારે તેણે કહ્યું -

  • બે બળેલી રોટલી, એક દીવસનું વાસી શાક અને એક પ્યાલો ટાઢી ચા લઈ આવ.

આશ્ચર્યચકીત વેઈટરે પુછ્યું -

  • સાહેબ, ખરેખર?

ઘરાકે ગુસ્સે થતાં કહ્યું.

  • હા. લઈ આવ, તને કીધું ને.

વેઈટર આશ્ચર્ય પામતો ચાલતો થયો અને થોડીવાર પછી મંગાવેલી વાનગીઓ લઈ આવ્યો. તેણે ટેબલ ઉપર સામાન મુકીને પૂછ્યું -

  • સાહેબ, બીજું કાંઈ?

ઘરાક

  • હા, હવે મારી સામે બેસીને બડબડાટ શરૂ કરી દે ! એટલે મને ઘર જેવું લાગે….!

Categories: આજની જોક