James Bond

On a flight James bond was sitting next to a Telugu guy.
Telugu Guy: “Hello, May I know your name please?”
James Bond: “My name is Bond” Continuing in his inimitable style, “Bond……James Bond.”
Then Bond asks: “And you?”

Telugu Guy: ” My name is Rao…
Siva Rao…
Samba Siva Rao…
Venkata Samba Siva Rao…
Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao…
Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao…
Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao…
Vijayawada Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao…”
Since then when anyone asks Bond his name he simply says “James Bond”

The Lawyer

One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two
men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his
driver to stop and he got out to investigate.
 He asked one man, “Why are you eating grass?”

“We don’t have any money for food,” the poor man replied.. “We
have to eat grass.

Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I’ll feed you” the lawyer said.

“But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over
there, under that tree.”
 ”Bring them along” the lawyer replied. Turning to the other poor
man he stated, “You come with us also.”
The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, “But sir, I also  have a wife and SIX children with me!”
 ”Bring them all, as well,” the lawyer answered.
They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car
 large as the limousine was.
 Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and
 said, “Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you.”
The lawyer replied, “Glad to do it. You’ll really love my place.The grass is almost a foot high”.